STROKE YOUR MAN'S EGO!

 I boarded a public service vehicle to Nairobi and next to me sat a middle aged married couple. The woman looked more vibrant, had a fancy weave on and a ready made lady's suit. Her husband looked rather tired and older, and wore a heavy jacket and brown material pants and had a cranky voice. We had traveled quite a distance and as is customary of Nairobi’s public transport, the Matatu, it was time to pay fare. The lady pried around, pretending she was not up to anything, then pulled out her wallet and very fast, took out a note of money. She quickly folded the note into a very small size then took her husband’s hand and gave it to him to pay! Was that necessary? I thought to myself. The woman should have just given the note to the conductor and paid their fare. No one is really attentive on who's handing out the money and why! 

It was necessary. Massaging a man's ego gives him the impression that he is still in charge and that you respect him enough to let him call the shots. It is important that you let your man, once in a while, do the big stuff even when you are the bread winner. Taking all the bills and making every other critical decision makes your man feel emasculated and you might not know until he bursts out on you one day! 

As a lady, sometimes it feels good to pay the cheques. :) It does! An independent woman is the in thing. We want to feel in control and not under men's feet. We like it when our men ask us for money. We want to sneak in our money in the receipt wallet on a date before our spouses do. We want a better and more expensive car than our spouses. We want to rock the latest outfits and change hairstyles everyday with no man behind it. We want to surprise our husbands with a Bugatti on the drive way... JUST. LIKE. BEYONCE. We want to buy the children a bigger toy than our husband did, just to get that feel. And after doing all that, we go like “Oh! Don’t worry. It’s nothing.” We like it!

Ladies, you have to learn to let go off the good feeling. Feminism is on the rise and the man has become an endangered species. As much as you want to make a bold statement that you are in charge, make your man feel as important and the boss as well. I will share with you a few ways to stroke your man's ego without making him feel as if you are doing him a favor. That was intended! Sometimes we have a pity treat for our spouses, but this one is meant to be for real. These valuable lessons are only to be used by those with good intentions. Consider this an art form that has been lost in this generation and one of the most wonderful things you can do to your man.

1.Respect him. 

You cannot stroke your man's ego if you don't have respect for him.

Unfortunately, couples often fall into a rut where they start taking each other for granted and don't give each other the respect they deserve or once had for each other. Ladies, change that immediately! Think of at least, five things you truly respect about your man, even small things like, he arrives home in time for dinner, and tell him each of those things.

I know you don't like this second point but please ladies...

2.Don't argue with him. 

Men don't like it when their women argue with them. It's one thing to respectfully disagree, but to engage in all out warfare over differing opinions is annoying and unnecessary. 

Come to think of all the arguments you have had with your spouse. You have to come to a point of agreeing to disagree in a calm manner for the contentious issue to be solved. Right? You have the answer!

3.Compliment his masculine qualities.

It's just not enough to tell him he's hot or he's cute but really go all out there! Tell him how you love his muscles, how sexy he looks when he's lifting weights, how athletic he is, etc. Also, compliment his intelligence. Chances are you're with an intelligent guy, so tell him!

4.Thank him for how hard he works to make you happy.

Tell him how much you appreciate what he does for you.Even little things that you think he "should" do! Like planning your vacations and outings, mowing the grass or fixing a leaking pipe. Sincerely thank him for all his efforts, big or small, to make you happy.

5.Wait on him. 

After he's come home from a long day at work or school, let him relax a bit. Offer to fix him a drink or cook or order in his favorite meal. Let him watch the ball game without interruption. Massage his back or shoulders without expecting anything in return.This works magic! It's like a home made spa for your man. Don't bug him with your suspicions or suspended complaints or else you will have a fiery argument! That, i guarantee.

6.Be affectionate. 

Men generally love affection because it makes them feel loved. Hug him, kiss him passionately, rub his shoulders, stroke his hair, etc. Do anything you know would make him feel loved.

7.Praise him in front of other people and NEVER put him down.

The next time you're out with your group of friends, tell him how sexy he is or congratulate him thoroughly on something he did at work. I thought this was just a public fiasco, but it truly works and men HATE public humiliation especially by their own women. He wants to know that his girl is proud of him and his accomplishments.

8.Stroke more than just his ego. 

Sex is a wonderful way for a couple to connect with one another and feel close.Have sex with him often and tell him what an amazing lover he is. Nothing makes a man feel better about his girl and his relationship than an active, healthy sex life. I mean, show me a man who does not love sex!

Girl, you are good to go with this booster kit! Start by trying to list down five unique things you mostly love about your man and find your way to appreciating your man even more than you used to.

Do men stroke women's egos? Keep in touch for side B of the woman's ego. 

Hate to leave you,

Estelle.